Fun Series #8- " and it's only about 1:30p.m."

{continuation of Fun Series #5,#6 and #8}

....... and then we hit the boat!"

The car in front of us was towing a boat on a trailer and was slowing down to turn on to the Northway as we slammed into it. The boat was smashed and the trailer tongue was bent but the car was fine. Just a couple of scratches.

The wife cried, the husband yelled, Kurt babbled and Nick and I laughed like hell. We hit a freak'n boat! The police came quickly.

Kurt told us that he would do all the talking. Great, we would surely go to jail now. Fortunately my Grand Parents, Aunt, Uncle and Cousins lived in Saratoga. My Uncle had been a Saratoga Police officer, so my brother started dropping names. Believe it or not, they actually told us to get in the car and follow them to the Police Station. MY BROTHER DROVE!

They had us park on the side street next to the Police station. A patrol car parked behind us. We each got out and they asked us to show them our drivers licenses. Four cops and my brother disappeared into the station. I was a cigarette smoker then and had 3 or 4 before two officers and Kurt returned.

The one officer told my brother to ride shotgun, put Nick in the back and threw me the keys. He said to get out of town and don't come back for awhile. He said that he knew my uncle and grand mother and for them he'd let us go.

I put in the clutch to start the car, my brother hadn't set the emergency brake, so I rolled backwards into the Police car breaking it's headlight. I got the car in gear and pulled away. I stopped and the cop just waved me on shaking his head.

We were on Rt. 50 heading south through Ballston Spa, when my brother had to piss. I stopped the car in front of a big house with really big bushes in front. Kurt went through the bushes and with in seconds we heard what sounded like old ladies talking, laughing and yelling. My brother was zipping up as he ran to the car.

Kurt came to the driver's side and told me to move. He looked better so I let him. As he pulled away Nick and I saw the nursing home sign and the old ladies sitting on the porch. Kurt had gone through the bushes and pissed right in front of the porch! We laughed till it hurt.

It was late afternoon when we finally pulled in to our neighborhood. My father was out front trimming the hedges. To show off, Kurt down shifted and gunned it to whip into the driveway. His reflexes were definitely impaired - he drove directly threw the hedge my father was trimming.

Dad stood there dumb founded. When he did get his voice we got,"Jump'in Jesus H. Christ Kurt! What the fuck you doin?"

Nick and I ran laughing.

This had to be some kind of record - vomitting under water, a fight, having a moving vehicular boat accident, hitting a police car, flashing old ladies and driving through a hedge and all in under eight hours!

Beat That!