Friday, June 22, 2007

"Make it Stop!"

For two days I was stuck in bed watching basic cable. No DVR and no digital. Being uncomfortable, something else started to pluck at my nerves - commercials! They continually show the same ones over and over. I especially enjoy it when they show a commercial twice or three times during the same break. And don't give a rat's ass what they say - the volume DOES go up!

I purposefully keep calling these people "they". Who the hell are the people that write this shit?
The Burger King ads are really starting to scare me. The King's coming off as a pervert. You think the writers for the King are the little AV club nerds from school? I'll bet if we could get the mug book on which kids ate paste they'd be the same kids. My guess is the same guys don't do the Victoria's Secret ads!
My recent favorite was the vehicle commercial where the "crossover" was driving along the edge of building roofs with subscript explaining that the car couldn't really do this.Paaaleeeze!
Can there really be this much erectile dysfunction and do they have to sponsor a Nascar team?
The side effect about needing to go to the ER if it stays up for four hours had to be written by a woman. First of all most adolescent, virginal boys can go days. Secondly, any adult male would be walking around pantless showing it off to his friends. " Hey guys, check this out! No she locked herself in the bathroom. Your wife around?"
I think that the FCC should make a rule that commercials have a shelf life; a fixed number of times that they can be shown. Let's say 200 times. It would be so easy a cave man could do it.


Nick Marino said...

If my erection lasts for four hours, I'm going to call a photographer and Barnum & Bailey!

glenn said...

I called Mass Health to see if they would cover a four hour erection. They said no, so I just covered it with my hat.

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

Sean said...

Hey Glenn, I hope it was your Red Sox hat you used. At least then it’d be used to being on a dick head!