Wednesday, June 6, 2007

"Cowboy Down!"

Twice I saw horrible face first falls. Both eventually were funny.
I don't remember his name but we called him"Says He". When he told a story or a joke instead of saying he said or Glenn said, he would interject says he.
We were small game hunting along the railroad tracks along Countyline Road. George was walking in the gravel along the left side of the tracks, Nick and I were in the gravel on the right side and "Says He" was walking the railroad ties between the tracks.
We were on our way to where we were going to hunt so we were just talking while we walked. "Says He" was a big guy, 6'2" and about 225. It was a nice fall morning but it was chilly. We all wore some form of hunting boot. He had on leather boots with vibrom soles. These soles looked like snow tire treads. They are comfortable, good on snow and ice but not great on railroad ties.
He must have caught a tread on a tie. It looked like he had just stumbled - a little. Then for some unknown reason he began to pick up speed. Picture the John Wayne walk but faster. He was all over the place and about 20 yards away he did a face plant right in the middle of the tracks. His gun went one way and his hat another.
Nick and I had started after him as soon as he accelerated. Now at this time in my life I smoked and was over weight but not enough to be sucking wind like I was. After stopping, I realized that I was out of breath from laughing. It was better than any Chevy Chase pratfall.
We stood there laughing like fools. He got up a little worse from wear, there were gravel cuts on his face and embedded in his hands. His shotgun had some chunks out of the stock but he appeared alright.
We still imitate his fall.
The second was not the least bit funny when it happened but it was a couple of days later.
Kathy and I had attended the Letchworth Central Senior Ball with the Superintendent, Elementary Principal and their wives so we were all dressed up. The men were in tuxedos and the women in nice dresses. Mike had invited us to their house after the ball so we stopped in for an drink.
Everyone always parked behind the house. They had a huge horse shoe shaped gravel driveway that you could enter or exit from either side of the house. The front of the house was on street level but the back was at basement level so you had to climb these landscape tie stairs to the back deck. As we started down the stairs my wife's high heel caught - she did just like "Says He"
but down hill landing in a gravel driveway.
It scared the hell out of me! Mike and I ran down to get her up. Her legs were scratched up pretty bad as were her hands but the worst injury was to the side of her head. We could immediately see it swelling. Pat, Mike's wife helped to clean her up and put an ice bag on her face.
The next morning, Sunday, she had a bright blue and black eye almost swollen shut. On Monday we had to go to a meeting at the bank to complete our mortgage paperwork. As High School Principal we had to live in the district. Since I had taken the day off, we were dressed casually and Kathy wore sun glasses to both protect and to hide her black eye.
The Bank Manager ushered us in to his office. Making small talk he said that his nephew had said that he liked me as the new principal and that I was tough but fair. Just as he looked up my wife removed her sun glasses to put her regular glasses on as she said,"Tell me about it." He looked at her eye then me, back to her - by now both Kathy and I started laughing!

1 comment:

Nick Marino said...

It seemed like it took him 2 or 3 minutes to fall. Without a doubt, one of the funniest things I've ever seen!